The Art of Being Yourself

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The soul would have no rainbow
if the eyes had no tears.

~ Unknown

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Daughter of the year #1 came home tonight and we had the typical "how was your day?" conversation.  I got the usual response.  But, today is Wednesday.  Ever since our troubles with bullying, she has been seeing the school's family resource counselor once a week, just to talk about how to use words to cope with the mean people we encounter in our lives.  Therefore, I probed a bit more about her meeting with the counselor as she looks forward to her time with her.  I'd had a tough week, perhaps she could teach me a few things.  Little did I know. 

"We read a book today, mom," she said. 

"What book did you read?"  I asked. 

"It was about a rainbow fish," she said. 

Now, when daughter of the year #1 talks about a book, you rarely get the feel of what the book is actually about.  We've heard lots about her reading comprehension and that usually is followed up with words such as, she needs to work on this.  This description was quite different.  I have never read this book, but she launched into what I would deem an extremely lengthy discussion.  With each part of the book, I could feel the story unfolding.  It's quite the book. 

The book is titled, The Rainbow Fish and is about a fish deemed the most beautiful fish in the ocean.  However, when asked, he will not share his beautiful iridescent scales with others.  When his vanity and greed leave him without friends or admirers, he seeks advice from a wise octopus (who lives in a dark cave according to daughter of the year #1).  You know what this wise octopus tells him?  He tells him to give away his scales and to discover real happiness.  So, he gives away his scales and learns that he still likes himself even without his outer beauty, for he is beautiful on the inside. 

For a brief moment, as she was describing the book, I wondered why they were reading this?  It didn't take long to realize why.  I got it, and little did I know she got it too.  Sometimes, being too proud of outer beauty can blind a person to what specialness lies beneath the surface.  Regardless of what lies on the outside, there is a very beautiful person on the inside. 

While this lesson was meant to teach daughter of the year #1 to love herself for who she is, it felt like a lesson sent to me also.  See, this week, I was told that I'm scary and as a result, people don't want to talk to me.  Honestly, after years of being a human doormat, I finally quit worrying about what people thought of me (beautiful scales or not) and began being the me I always was that somehow got a little hidden.  I'm loud.  I'm confident. I'm opinionated.  I'm honest (sometimes too honest).  And I'm a strong woman.  I can't change who I am.  I rather like me as me.  Regardless of how much this conversation crushed my spirit, I know I am someone special on the inside.  I refuse to sacrifice who I am just because someone else has a problem with it.  I would never ask another person to get new, more beautiful scales, knowing there is more than what is simply on the surface.  I would never ask daughter of the year #1 if her true beauty lies in her outward appearance.  For beneath her beautiful scales, there is an even more amazing person. 

As her explanation of the book unfolded, I could tell she got it...oh she got it.  I'm not sure I can ever thank the counselor for this little lesson - as much for her as for me.  I hope she will remember it forever.  I know I will. 

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