Do Something! (Lessons Learned From My Dad)
A father carries pictures
where his money used to be.
~ Author Unknown
-----------------------------------------
A few months ago, my mentor in parenting, or dad as I call him, celebrated a big birthday. I won't mention the number here because, to me, he doesn't seem to be that age. However, when I was little, I remember thinking that age was like having one foot in the grave. I see the error of my ways now. We all think a little stupid when we're young, right?
While I promised this post months ago, it just never happened. Growing up knowing that plans could change on a dime when it came to my father, I have a feeling he will clearly understand my predicament. Sorry dad, life just simply got in the way.
Nearly every day, something comes out of my mouth that makes me realize I am so much more like my dad than my mom. I look like her, but I'm dad through and through. I remember watching him as a kid, clean shaven, in a fancy suit, taking his gun down from the top of the refrigerator to get ready to go to his job in law enforcement. I completely looked up to him. I saw him as invincible; my very own version of a super hero living right in my house. I know, just typing that makes it sound like a worshiped him. That wasn't the case at all. I looked up to him and I highly respected him. This is the same way I hope my own daughters of the year look up to their father. After all, as cliche as it sounds, he is the first man I loved.
I approach my career in many ways I imagine he must have, even though I wasn't there. My siblings and I overhead enough conversations, got the daily play-by-play at supper, and certainly got an earful of stories when he retired to know that he was tough. I'd like to think that's the same tough I am.
He never wanted me to go into law enforcement and I'm happy to say I didn't. However, I married a police officer. I like to look at it as though this apple just fell from a different tree. Even though I did not follow in his career path, I took much of his advice when it comes to business. In honor of my father's big birthday (oh yeah, and father's day that seemed to come and go too quickly), I'm passing it along to you.
1. Do something! Either lead, follow, or get outta my way.
My father had a poster on his office door with sweet little ducks on it and this saying. I honestly never got it as a kid but today, I totally get it! In his job he was definitely a mover and a shaker. He didn't like idleness and saw little room for laziness in the workplace. Above all, he always pushed people to ask for more, do more, and be more.
2. Hard work is important, but don't expect to win a medal.
I have a very solid work ethic. I know I learned that from my father. Along the way he also taught me that no matter how hard you work, thinking you will get excessive praise for a job well done is not a realistic expectation. No matter how hard you work, it will never be recognized at the level you think it should. Life isn't little league where everyone bats and gets treats at the end, and the sooner I realized that, the less disappointed I would be.
3. Don't sh*t where you eat.
He used this one a lot! Plain and simple, don't do something in the workplace that will ruin your reputation or your career. This is precisely where that phrase he told my siblings and I before we went anywhere also comes into play, "Don't forget who you are."
4. Be there when it matters.
While he never said this one out loud, he practiced it daily. My father retired from a career that meant he wasn't always there for holidays, birthdays, concerts, softball games or prom. Somehow, he was always there when it mattered. To this day, I'm still not sure how he gauged which of those things were most important, but he always did. I know I'm not always there for everything for my own children, but I'd like to hope I'm there when it matters most.
5. Don't throw like a girl.
This lesson mainly came from years of honing my skills as a softball player, but it also carried into the way I looked at business. My father worked in what was, at the time, a male dominated field and I'll never forget the day he had a brief, yet meaningful conversation with me about women and management. I don't remember exactly what he said but I remember it going a little something like this, "Don't ever rely so much on a man to make a decision that you forget you have a brain. You have as much to contribute as anyone, so speak your mind."
6. Never start a conversation with an apology.
One year, my dad coached my softball team. I know what a huge sacrifice this was for him and I treasure him doing this more than he'll ever know. I had a good friend on that team who every time she dropped a ball, bobbled a grounder, or didn't swing at a clear strike, she said "I'm sorry." He got on her incessantly for that. I'd like to think he was teaching us more than athletic skills that summer but rather to know that in work, sharing an idea or proposal should not begin with, I'm sorry.
Nearly every day, something comes out of my mouth that makes me realize I am so much more like my dad than my mom. I look like her, but I'm dad through and through. I remember watching him as a kid, clean shaven, in a fancy suit, taking his gun down from the top of the refrigerator to get ready to go to his job in law enforcement. I completely looked up to him. I saw him as invincible; my very own version of a super hero living right in my house. I know, just typing that makes it sound like a worshiped him. That wasn't the case at all. I looked up to him and I highly respected him. This is the same way I hope my own daughters of the year look up to their father. After all, as cliche as it sounds, he is the first man I loved.
I approach my career in many ways I imagine he must have, even though I wasn't there. My siblings and I overhead enough conversations, got the daily play-by-play at supper, and certainly got an earful of stories when he retired to know that he was tough. I'd like to think that's the same tough I am.
He never wanted me to go into law enforcement and I'm happy to say I didn't. However, I married a police officer. I like to look at it as though this apple just fell from a different tree. Even though I did not follow in his career path, I took much of his advice when it comes to business. In honor of my father's big birthday (oh yeah, and father's day that seemed to come and go too quickly), I'm passing it along to you.
1. Do something! Either lead, follow, or get outta my way.
My father had a poster on his office door with sweet little ducks on it and this saying. I honestly never got it as a kid but today, I totally get it! In his job he was definitely a mover and a shaker. He didn't like idleness and saw little room for laziness in the workplace. Above all, he always pushed people to ask for more, do more, and be more.
2. Hard work is important, but don't expect to win a medal.
I have a very solid work ethic. I know I learned that from my father. Along the way he also taught me that no matter how hard you work, thinking you will get excessive praise for a job well done is not a realistic expectation. No matter how hard you work, it will never be recognized at the level you think it should. Life isn't little league where everyone bats and gets treats at the end, and the sooner I realized that, the less disappointed I would be.
3. Don't sh*t where you eat.
He used this one a lot! Plain and simple, don't do something in the workplace that will ruin your reputation or your career. This is precisely where that phrase he told my siblings and I before we went anywhere also comes into play, "Don't forget who you are."
4. Be there when it matters.
While he never said this one out loud, he practiced it daily. My father retired from a career that meant he wasn't always there for holidays, birthdays, concerts, softball games or prom. Somehow, he was always there when it mattered. To this day, I'm still not sure how he gauged which of those things were most important, but he always did. I know I'm not always there for everything for my own children, but I'd like to hope I'm there when it matters most.
5. Don't throw like a girl.
This lesson mainly came from years of honing my skills as a softball player, but it also carried into the way I looked at business. My father worked in what was, at the time, a male dominated field and I'll never forget the day he had a brief, yet meaningful conversation with me about women and management. I don't remember exactly what he said but I remember it going a little something like this, "Don't ever rely so much on a man to make a decision that you forget you have a brain. You have as much to contribute as anyone, so speak your mind."
6. Never start a conversation with an apology.
One year, my dad coached my softball team. I know what a huge sacrifice this was for him and I treasure him doing this more than he'll ever know. I had a good friend on that team who every time she dropped a ball, bobbled a grounder, or didn't swing at a clear strike, she said "I'm sorry." He got on her incessantly for that. I'd like to think he was teaching us more than athletic skills that summer but rather to know that in work, sharing an idea or proposal should not begin with, I'm sorry.
I hunted for days trying to find the right photo for this post, which I couldn't seem to really settle on. Yet, when I found this one, I had to post it knowing these skills are ones my dad learned from his father. It only seemed fitting to be sure my grandfather was also pictured. So here they are, my dad and his siblings with my grandfather squarely in the middle.
Thanks dad for teaching me, in your own strange way, these skills I will carry with me throughout my career and my life. You worked hard and provided for us and I will always be grateful for that.
You also taught me a few other things, such as my propensity for swearing, but I thought it best to leave your dad-of-the-year status somewhat intact.
Thanks dad for teaching me, in your own strange way, these skills I will carry with me throughout my career and my life. You worked hard and provided for us and I will always be grateful for that.
You also taught me a few other things, such as my propensity for swearing, but I thought it best to leave your dad-of-the-year status somewhat intact.
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