Inappropriate Behavior

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Live in such a way
that you would not be ashamed
to sell your parrot to the town gossip. 

~ Will Rogers

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I start many blog posts this way, but I'll say it again.  Those who know me best would know that I live life with few regrets.  I am who I am and I know that can't be changed.  I'm funny, a little bit crazy and, at times, a bit inappropriate (just ask my mother).  The biggest difference is that I know these things about myself.  As I said, I am who I am.  

However, it never dawned on me that a simple t-shirt could embarrass daughter of the year #1 in such a big manner.  I bought the t-shirt above the minute it hit the racks where I work.  It went nicely in my closet with my "Sarcastic Comment Loading" t-shirt, which hangs by my  Wizard of Oz shirt that says "Did the Wizard ever get back to you about that brain?"  Folded near them is my "Motherhood is not for sissies" t-shirt, which definitely rates as one of my favorites.  

The first day I put on this shirt, daughter of the year #1 (who reads everything) scanned me up and down with a puzzled look on her face.  

 "Mom," she said.  "Don't you think that shirt's kinda inappropriate?"  

What?  Inappropriate?  Call it Midwestern humor, but I find it comical.  I'd love to wear it in the LAX airport.  I walk around town wearing it proudly.  Not a care in the world.  

"What do you find inappropriate about it?" I asked.  Oh trust me, I fully knew where this could lead. 

"That word," she said followed by a long pause.  "I don't want people calling you...sexy." 

Did you hear that girls?  Apparently simply wearing a shirt with the words sexier on it make people call you sexy.  I had no idea!  Why hadn't someone told me this before? 

Well, I didn't go into it with her but rather just laughed it off.  I made a feeble attempt to explain the shirt but it brought with it more questions and that furrowed brow that daughter of the year #1 sports when I know the questions are about to get...well...personal. 

Even when asked if I was going to go out wearing this shirt today, I sported it proudly.  After all, it's just a shirt, right?  I started to rethink this decision at the dentist's office today when I caught a much older gentleman staring at my chest.  I smiled to break the awkwardness and then I saw it...the furrowed brow again.  And I just wasn't ready to go there with a man likely my grandfather's age who is wondering why I'm wearing a shirt about cornfields and some person of royalty named Lady Gaga. 

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