Things Best Learned From Dad

     

“My dad always used to tell me that if they

challenge you to an after-school fight,

tell them you won't wait -

you can kick their ass right now.”

~ Cameron Diaz

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I have one sister and one brother. Growing up, it didn't feel my dad parented us any differently because we were a boy or a girl.  Perhaps he did and I just never realized it, but it sure never seemed that way. However, I can specifically pinpoint things that were best learned from my dad. Happy Father's Day, Dad! And, knowing my girls are there this week, possibly they will come home with some of these lessons. It's OK, I'm bracing myself. 

 1. Take it like a man.
This lesson was best served in the backyard with the garage as a backdrop.  Me with a bat on my shoulder.  My brother catching and my father pitching.  Sometimes the roles switched and Rob simply hit balls at me.  There was blood, there were loose teeth.  However, I was never afraid of the ball and quite possibly that's what made me a good softball player.  I was taught to never "throw like a girl" or let anyone tell me I couldn't do something.  Oh if that old garage could talk! 

2. If you're going to have a car at least do not be a damsel in distress.
When I got my first car, a 1980 Oldsmobile Cutlass that was strikingly the same size as a boat, my father insisted I know how to change a tire and check the oil.  He didn't want me relying on someone else to check it and preferred I be a little more self-reliant.  Even today when I get a new car, I have to know how to change the tire! 

3. Clogged gutters cause wet basements.
Frankly, Lori and Rob are likely just better at this one.  I just married someone who has the thrill of cleaning gutters. 

4. There's no crying in softball.
Long before the line "There's no crying in baseball," was written into the script of A League of Their Own, my father taught me this lesson.  Oh, in those early years, there were tears.  But I do have to say, it made me tough.  Even when I shattered the bone in my thumb while catching, I never cried.  I took it and even continued to catch all through practice.  The next week, even with a plastic splint on my thumb, I learned the cradle the ball in my palm and still throw from my knees to second base.  While I no longer play softball except in the backyard with my girls, I realize today this lesson carried far beyond the softball field. 

5. For maximum angry parent impact, wrinkle your chin.
Holy crap, when my dad made this face you knew you were in for it!  I don't know how he made that face, and I'm fairly sure I tried to mimic it several times, but it got results.  I've learned to make my own angry mom face and when used, it's been known to stop traffic. 

6. There's no place in this world for a dirty garage.
A few weeks ago, my dear husband had to leave for a conference with no time to clean the garage from our bar making excursion (which is still ongoing).  It drove me crazy.  Sawdust all over, tools not put away, toys not in their proper place.  So what did I do?  I cleaned it.  Things may not have been put back in their proper spot and I'm fairly sure when my husband came home, he was not happy to see my eagerness, but I sure felt better.  And, if my dad popped in unexpectedly, the garage would be clean! 

7. Lead, follow or get out of my way.
My father had a poster of ducks on his office door as I was growing up.  Honestly, I never understood the poster until I got older.  It had a row of ducks following each other with the statement, "Do something!  Either lead, follow, or get out of my way."  Now that I fully understand this poster and how it's somewhat of a work ethic that was branded into us, I wish I knew where that poster was so I could hang it on my own office door. 

8. There are more morons in the world than smart people.
My father made it quite clear growing up how he felt about people in general.  I'm fairly sure if you worked with or under my father, you always knew where you stood.  Therefore, I grew up thinking the working world was full over morons.  Not that there is, but there are days I think my father might have been onto something.  
 
9. Everyone, morons in particular, actually have their certificates changed at birth so their first name is "That."
When my dad was mad, he referred to people by "That" and then their last name.  When my father retired, my brother gave a speech that stated growing up we all felt that his co-workers' first names were That.  Probably better than any other word he wanted to use or could have taught us. 

10.  Show those you love that you do love them.
When push came to shove, my dad was there!  He would drive all night.  He would answer the phone at any hour.  He could handle any home repair project, crisis, or question even if you woke him from a nap.  Above all, there were always hugs, laughs and he always kissed me goodnight.  Sure, as with any parent, there were times he couldn't be there but those don't stay in the forefront of my mind.  Because when it mattered, he was there.  And I never once wondered if he loved me. 

On this Father's Day, I salute these lessons that could have only been taught by my father.  There were other lessons, but I'll spare you the ones about protecting your fingers when using power tools, a few swear words never hurt anyone, and never run into your own vehicle with your work vehicle.  We'll save those for another day. 

Happy Father's Day dad!  Sorry to Lori and Rob for the polyester filled photo.