Sharing the Morning Rush

-

The car has become a secular sanctuary
for the individual, his shrine to the self,
his mobile Walden Pond. 

~ Edward McDonagh

-----------------------------

I remember the days dad of the year and I refer to as BK (before kids) when we shared a bathroom, were responsible for getting only ourselves ready, watched a little television...shared our morning rush. Back then, we also only had one car. We'd drive to work together listening to hair bands and enjoying the morning. Yeah, things have changed.

My Yukon has been on the fritz lately, choosing when to start and when not to. It's agonizing! Plus, an unreliable vehicle makes me nervous with two kids. It recently went on the fritz again. What started as some fun carpooling time ended in something completely different.

I enjoy my morning time. I don't commute and I rather like it that way. So, my morning time is far less than it had been with a commute and no children. Still, I enjoy my few minutes in the car to myself. If I choose to go through Starbucks, I make that choice and go. I don't have to ask, I just make it happen.

Now, several things change when you begin sharing the morning rush with your spouse again after many years away from doing this. Here's just a few.

I tote many things to and from work that I used to not take back and forth. Those things include a laptop, an iPad, a large tote bag, a designer purse, and a fashionable re-useable lunch bag (come on, I like fashion). Those things take up space in a vehicle. Quite possibly the reason I drive a Yukon. However, all of these things, plus two kids and all of their things, and dad of the year's things equals a slightly unhappy man. Many a day there were very loud sighs coming from his side of the vehicle. It was obvious I had invaded his space and I was mourning the loss of mine.

I like Starbucks. After carpooling for 10 very long days, I also went 10 days with no Starbucks. It was tough. I began imagining the baristas wondering what had happened to me. Did they even notice I was gone? I'm sure their profits did. While I dearly missed my coffee splurge, I did save quite a bit and, believe it or not, Starbucks continued on without me. Gasp!

Not driving for 10 whole days made this mom of the year feel incompetent and much less independent. Holy cow! I never knew how many errands I ran and how many quick grocery things I picked up until I could no longer do that. Frankly, I didn't like it! I love dad of the year, but I also found myself having strange dreams about just driving around aimlessly by myself. Were those dreams were trying to tell me something?

Dad of the year and I have been together for more than 20 years. There isn't much we don't know about each other. But it was obvious we both had our separate morning routines and each of us was invading the other's. Not good! I found us driving to our destinations talking less, annoyed by each other's music, and my becoming a backseat driver. When did he start waiting until the last minute to brake? It drove me nuts and I know my telling him how to drive did the same.

So, the day we went to pick up my finished and running vehicle, it should be no surprise to learn that when they told us it would be one more day, what was my reaction?  I bet you'll never guess.  I burst into tears. Yep! I did. Not in the dealership with the mechanic awkwardly staring at me.  I was civilized and waited until we got to the truck (where apparently crying is not allowed either).  I wanted that car and my independence (and my Starbucks) back so badly! It wasn't that I didn't enjoy our time carpooling. After all, being dropped right at the door does have its perks. It's just that I'd grown more accustomed to not riding together. I wanted my independence back!

After 10 days of growing accustomed to sharing our morning rush hour, we're back to driving our own vehicles and carrying about our morning as we normally would. Does dad of the year miss my 5 bags crammed into his truck? I doubt it. Do I miss his hair bands and country music? Not really. I do appreciate that we are different and I think that is what has kept us together all these years.

Carpooling is OK, but I think we'd both agree that we like things our own, separate ways.  I know I'm happy to have my car, my route, my routine back. Oh, and Starbucks!

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Letters

-
Image
When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight.  ~ Kahlil Gibran ------------------------------------------ Well, here it comes folks. The blog that will either keep you reading or destroy whatever relationship we've been having.  Either way, what I write here is mine.  I made absolutely no claim at perfection, although you really should have known that already by the title of this blog.  While this was difficult to write and took quite a bit of reflection, again, it is truly my own.  After days of pondering and writing, daughter of the year #1 gave me a big sign tonight that I was finally ready to post this.  Dad of the year suffered a loss in his family recently and, in my mind, the worst kind.  The one that creeps up on you and surprises you with grief you didn't think you would have.  Or should I say, grief you didn't think you would need to work th...
Read more

The Devil's Instrument

-
Image
Music is what feelings sound like.  ~ Author Unknown ---------------------------- I knew this day would come.  In fact, I hoped it would.  But never, ever, did I think it would try my patience like it has. Growing up, music was like air to me.  I needed it daily and as my relationship with it grew, it became something very important to me. I nearly made it a career until I grew unsure how I would actually accomplish that.  My mom will tell you all about the scholarship I turned down as a result, just ask her. In the end, it was a love but, for me, it was never a career.   Daughter of the year #1 has been taking piano lessons for 3 years.  There were times it tested me but that mainly came from frustrated bangs on the keys and hearing Jolly Old Saint Nicholas clear into the month of March.  Who knew my ultimate test of patience would come with a 12 inch piece of plastic with holes.   Ah, the blessed rec...
Read more

Notebooks

-
Image
Drench yourself in words unspoken. Live your life with arms wide open.   Today is, where your book begins.   The rest is still unwritten.   -Natasha Bedingfield I've sat down to write so many times I've lost track.  I get started then stop.  Something was always missing. Wittiness. A lesson. Humor. An ending that made sense.  Something!  I would always leave that writing for another day.  Another day never came.  Time after time, I'd go back to it, then scrap it and start over.   Starting over.  What a funny notion.  An empty piece of paper, a blank slate, always clean and new.  Always. I mean, who would argue the best part of school starting was new notebooks.  No writing or markings, just waiting for fresh knowledge.  Ok, so I still love a new notebook.   Losing someone you care for always makes you reflect on things, on your own notebooks of time; your blank pie...
Read more