Black Friday Bingo

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Anyone who believes
the competitive spirit in America is dead
has never been in a supermarket
when the cashier opens another checkout line.
~Ann Landers
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 First, I would be remiss if I did not at least mention my very long hiatus.  Last June, I decided to take a writer's workshop that then led me to believe I could finally write that book I have always dreamt about.  So, I committed.  I wrote an outline.  I carved out time.  I set deadlines.  I even told myself I would keep up with the blogging in the meantime.  After all, it would be inspiration.  Some real, I am woman hear me roar shit.  

 So, here I sit, 3-and-a-half months after setting all those deadlines, with very few of them met.  I went through a spurt of beating myself up, but in the end, it's MY book and I'll finish it when I finish it!  Instead of saying I have failed, I'm just going to tell everyone I have really been enjoying life.  Onward and upward, that's my motto!  

 It's the holidays and I get a bit reminiscent at this time of year.  It's hard to believe that nearly one year ago today, my siblings and I were sitting in Rochester, Minnesota, staring at a restaurant we all thought was called the Canadian Hooker, waiting for a surgeon to cut a hole in our mother's head.   We waited with family friend-of-the-year, who entertained us with pizza stories all while he awaited news of his own heart transplant, which he would finally get 8 months later.  We've come a long way in a year.

 One thing that has been sticking with me lately is all the hype about Black Friday.  Black Friday shopping is nearly as much a tradition with my family as Festivus was to the Costanza family on Seinfeld.  Oh yes, I have an opinion about all the hype and the supposed boycotts going on along with the cheers for those retailers "taking a stand" and not opening early or at all.  Well folks, I won't go too deeply into my opinion on the matter, but as a former customer service employee for a major grocery store, I will tell you that we were ALWAYS open on Thanksgiving.  Instead of getting cranky about it, I'm pretty sure people  were high-fiving me for being there so they could purchase the cranberry sauce they forgot.  In actuality, we really sold a lot of beer that day.  Hmmm....

 I prefer to look at Black Friday as some sort of sadistic version of natural selection.  You just spent a whole day with your family, cooking crap you cook only once a year of which you ate so much you no longer fit into your fat pants.  THIS my friends is the prime example of overindulgence if you ask me.  And a whole day before Black Friday.  Some people just gotta work off all that pent up energy (some may refer to it as anger) and what a better way than trampling people for some sort of insane deal?  It's better than committing a homicide, right?  

 Oh, I've seen it all!  Never have I partaken in something really insane.  In fact, the closest I may have gotten was that one year at Toys R Us.  We lovingly refer to it as the Furby year.  Although there was that one year we ate those stupid garlic rolls much too early in the morning and then felt monstrously sick.  We don't go so much for the deals but for the atmosphere.  Oh, and the laughs.  In fact, as I troll memories of past Thanksgivings, many of them center around our Black Friday excursions.   

 Consider it an early gift, a hearty laugh, or just pure insanity but, here's my little gift for you.  Black Friday Bingo.  I began this tradition 2 years ago and didn't have time to make a new card last year.  You know, the whole brain surgery thing and all got in the way a little.  I never would have believed the requests I got for cards after my family took to social media, detailing our own bingo fun on that inaugural year.  Frankly, it was a blast.   

 Click here to download your own Black Friday Bingo card.  You can either play as the card stands, or you can make your own card and fill in with the names of the spaces in any order you choose from my card.  This way, everyone can play with a different card.  It's up to you.  Share with whomever you'd like.  After all, 'tis the season.    

 https://www.dropbox.com/s/qanjbkfej8cphg3/BFBingo.pdf

 So, whether you make Black Friday shopping a tradition or not.  Whether you love the thrill of hunting for a good deal or shopping online.  I hope you at least spend your Thanksgiving making memories.  My family always does.  Mostly, remember rule #7:  don't take yourself so damn seriously.  

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