Giving Thanks

A teacher's purpose is not to create students in his own image,

but to develop students who can create their own image.

~ Author Unknown

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What a powerful influence teachers are to young minds!  We have been blessed to have fantastic teachers as daughter of the year #1 progresses through school.  One of them just stands out among the others.  I normally don't use names in my blog, but there could be a million Ms. Green's out there, so we'll go with it.  Daughter of the year #1 and I both know, to us, there's really only ONE Ms. Green.

It's no secret that #1 has struggled with her confidence over the years and after a terrifying 1st grade bullying incident, I just wanted to throw in the towel!  FIRST GRADE people!  Second grade got better, in spite of those "bathtub conversations."  But, I might not ever forget the day I took #1 to school to see who her 3rd grade teacher would be.  I'm still not sure if she wanted a particular teacher or just not the one she got.  As I said joyfully to #1, "You got Ms. Green," I was met with a less than enthusiastic response.  I could have handled that one of two ways and we all know I've taken both of those paths on my journey to mom of the year.  I didn't know Ms. Green so frankly, I had no opinion at all.  I chose to take the high road here and not give in to #1's pitty party.  Instead, we had a conversation about why she wasn't very excited about this teacher.  

"Well, mom," she said quietly, "she's kinda mean."

"What do you mean by mean?" I asked.  Now, I was raised back in the day when my second grade teacher, we'll call him Mr. B, used to take students to the janitor's closet outside his room and spank the naughty children with a yard stick that was really practically a board and it was totally acceptable.  Um, she doesn't even begin to know mean.      

"She just yells a lot mom," she clarified.  

We had a long talk about perceptions.  We talked about how people view her mom and how sometimes those just aren't true.  We discussed how kids, especially young  boys, can be a bit challenging.  No one means to yell, raise their voice, or be seen as mean.  Sometimes, we have no other choice though.  Our conversation went on for a while about making good choices, not running in the hallway, listening and not judging people until you really got to know them.  We entered 3rd grade full of hope.  We had no idea what we would get in return!  

We've all had teachers who made an impact on us in some way.   Either they helped us learn a new subject.  Spent extra time with us.  Listened to our hopes, dreams and fears.  Dried tears.  Or just gave us some encouragement when we needed it most.  We've been lucky to have great teachers in a very large school district.  But Ms. Green leaves a mark not only in your head, but on your heart.  

I can never express to Ms. Green what she did for my daughter.  This teacher she once thought of as mean, she took the time to get to know and realized, she wasn't like that at all.  They taught each other many things during her time in 3rd grade but most of all, she taught my daughter that how you treat people will come back to you.  She made that class a family that year and they continue to protect each other through 4th grade, even though they are scattered into multiple classrooms.  She sent them out into another grade knowing things would continue to get tough for them but I, for one, feel a little bit better knowing my daughter has a small army of people looking out for her.  

I came home from a 13 hour work day to two very needy daughters of the year, and feeling like a complete failure as a parent.  #1 met me at the door with an envelope.  

"Here mom," she said with a huge smile on her face.  "I want you to see this."

I opened it to find what you see in the photo.  You see, #1 continues to help Ms. Green on Tuesdays.  They have a special little bond.  After spending the afternoon with her, #1 felt the need to come home and write this.  I was completely...utterly...overcome with emotion. On a day I felt I'd been a pretty shitty parent, I came home to one of the kindest gestures I've ever seen.  And that gesture came from my daughter (and her very own piggy bank).  

Thank you Ms. Green and the many other fantastic teachers and school staff who have crossed our path.  Most of all, on a day when I doubted it most, through my daughter's own amazing kindness, thank you for making me feel maybe I'm on the right path to mom of the year.