Future Letter To My Daughters

Friendship isn't a big thing -

it's a million little things.  

~ Unknown

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Have you ever spent time reminiscing the past?  How about slowing down time?  The sad thing is, in youth we are in such a rush to grow up.  Ah yes!  When we are grown up life will be so much more fantastic. Yet the truth of the matter is, adulting is hard and by far less glamorous than my high school self's expectations.

I spent time with a lovely group of ladies recently that made me think about life, myself, friendships, aging, loss, love, and genuine appreciation.  You know me, my thoughts always go straight to paper and what a better way than to pen a future letter to my daughters.  Here goes...


Dear "Grown Up" #1 and #2,
You've arrived! It's graduation and you are standing in cap and gown, eyes wide and ready to take in everything the world has to offer.  As Robin Williams said, suck the marrow out of life, just remember not to choke on the bone.  I wish I had just one ounce of your energy today because, the truth is, life is about to get hard.

Now when I say hard, I don't say this to crush your dreams.  Dreams are important and propel you to wonderful places in life.  Please don't ever stop dreaming.  Along life's path you will encounter fallen trees, broken sidewalks, all sorts of stumbles and falls.  But always remember that what defines us is how quickly we rise after falling.

What you are forgetting this very day is to remember that part of what got you to this spot are the things squarely behind you.  A past you somewhat long to leave and become that adult you always dreamed you would be.  College is not a race.  And, it's so much harder than you ever thought it would be.  Have fun, but also study hard.  Your future really does depend on it.  Learn from those stupid things you do.  Laugh about them.  Don't dwell on them.  Simply move on.  Looking back on my own past, I see how those spots on my path became worn from having stood there so long dwelling on them.

You will meet people of all shapes, sizes, colors, nationalities and backgrounds. It really is a grown up version of Oh The Places You'll Go.  Embrace it!  Meet people so unlike anyone you've ever met who, in turn, make you a better person.  But please don't forget to look over your shoulder and remember who fed you ice cream because you had a break up.  Or who encouraged you to do something new that made you scared.  Or who was always cheering on the sidelines at a sporting event.  Those people molded you.  Shaped you.  Made you the friend you are today.  You owe them.  Appreciate what fantastic people you chose to surround yourself with in some of your most formable years.

Love will come and go but when you know it's "the one" hold tight and fast and work for it.  Love is not a free ride into the future in a convertible; top down, wind in your hair, all smiles and laughs.  It will be harder than anything you've ever done.  And you will need those people standing behind you.  For they will be the most honest people you have ever had in your life.  It's really a whole new unconditional love you never knew you had.

Let's face it, there will come a time when you will be an asshole.  The truth is, you are a good person.  We raised you to be that way.  Just please remember to never step on someone else on your pursuit to reach those dreams.  And if you should, say "I'm sorry", forgive yourself and then do your best to never commit that error again.

As time goes on, lives change and time gets filled with activities, work and other adult responsibilities.  Nothing will plant your feet firmly on the ground more than a call, a text, a message or whatever you do these days with an old friend.  There is a piece of them that is eternally in the background, silently applauding and cheering you on.  Oddly, they yearn for your happiness and success as much as you do.

Take chances.  Life is too short to spend it either with people you don't like or doing something you don't love or in a relationship that does not bring you joy.  Find your passion and pursue it.  As your mother I feel it only right to tell you that it will take time.  It won't happen overnight.  But please, with every step you take determine if it gets you closer to that passion.

And on your own pursuit, don't forget to slow down.  I get so caught up in daily life.  I rush, I yell, I don't laugh enough, I punish myself too much and, in general, I don't stop and just appreciate the wonderful things I have before me often enough.  But when I do slow down; when I do see clearly those things before me, I am truly at my happiest.  Honestly, it's where I deserve to be every day!  And you do too.

Now go!  Conquer the world.  Follow those dreams.  Find yourself.  Remember and appreciate your past.  And never, ever forget how amazing you are!

Love,
Mom