Feel Like Sunshine

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Stay close to people who feel like sunshine. 

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I remember, when I first started this blog, all these cute little quips I'd post from #1. Not that #2 hasn't had her fair share. It's just somewhere along the way, I got older. More tired. It wasn't that I didn't pay attention. Perhaps I didn't stop to record them in the same way. What I can say with great certainty is, I was not prepared for how consuming life would be parenting a teen. 

 The fact of the matter is, I've been absent lately. Absent from writing, because I turned my attention to other things. But a wise person told me she felt I needed to start writing again. I needed an outlet. I won't lie, I felt a new kind of fear set in. My kids are older now. Yet, I find myself wanting to be more and more open, as I can't possibly be the only parent feeling this way. What if my words helped one person? What if one person said, "I feel that way sometimes too." So, here I sit in my office at home, alone with the sounds of my nails clicking on the keyboard. 

 I remember looking forward to teen years. I'm not sure why. I certainly wasn't an easy teen to raise (just ask grandma of the year). What no one told me was how lonely it would feel. You see, as the parent of infants, we swap stories of diapers and milestones and the sleep we long to find again. This continues into the toddler and elementary years. More milestones, preschools, and increased independence. Then, just as quickly as we started, suddenly we stop talking. At first, I assumed it was just temporary. We were all navigating this new territory and figuring things out. Then, it continued, and the loneliness increasingly grew. We don't talk about the friendships lost, the increasing amounts of homework, the mounting pressures, the tears over the homecoming "proposal" that never happens, the sports team disappointments. Why? Talking about it doesn't mean we're any less happy for the people these things do happen to. 

 The truth is, I long to talk about parenting teens. Just like when #1 was born, it was completely new territory. There were times I had no idea what I was doing and needed to know I wasn't alone. Others felt that way too. I needed tips. Needed to hear what worked and what didn't. Most of all, I just needed to talk. Yet, it so rarely happens. Why?

 Are we afraid to divulge what feels like secrets of our young-adults? Are we too afraid of feeling judged, just as our teens do? Are we concerned we may not have it all together or are getting it all "right"? Why does this even matter?

 I recently had a conversation with a parent of teens who opened up in a way no other parent has before. For me, it felt like sunshine. This individual was not afraid to be raw with me; sharing challenges and joys. It was so enlightening...and real. I will forever be grateful for that moment. I finally didn't feel alone. 

 To all the parents of teens or someday parents of teens, I am here. No, I don't have it all together nor do I have it all figured out. I promise to listen when you need to talk. To never judge and to let you know you are not alone. 

 I promise to feel like sunshine. 

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