Letter to My 16 Year Old Self

The secret to staying young is to live honestly,

eat slowly, and lie about your age.

- Lucille Ball

Dear 16-year-old mom-of-the-year,

Happy sweet 16. I know you waited for this day for a long time. It seems like you are about to leap into adulthood, some newfound freedom, but before you take that jump, take a deep breath. For every jump you take from here on out leads you on a path to your future, and it's one lovely ride. 

Look around at those friends at your party. It's not a huge friend circle but larger than most. These girls have been here through almost every moment of growing up and will continue to be. In fact, many of those friends are still going to be there for you 30 years later. Cheering for you in a whole new way to achieve every dream you have, and sending you the Twizzlers you so dearly love when things don't go quite right. By the way, lay off the Twizzlers.

You've been driving for two years so I can't even say congrats on getting your license. You are quite a good driver by this point. That skill will continue into adulthood but there's one thing you will forget. You'll forget to slow down and leave a few minutes early. You'll get in a hurry and miss the funny stories from the backseat that come from your future children (yes, you have kids!). You'll miss the beautiful flowers as they begin to bloom in the spring. You'll even miss the way the leaves begin to turn in the fall and the amazing colors that result. Slow down and enjoy it. There is nothing and no one that is more important than your own time and sanity.

Don't be so hard on yourself. I hear the way you look in the mirror and that negative self-talk you give. Oh girl, if you think your waistline is too big now, just wait. The day will come when you wish you had that 16 year old waistline back. In spite of everything, you need to learn to love yourself as you are. Sure, in those high school years, you were an athlete so it was easy to eat things you shouldn't have. Exercise wasn't something you had to schedule time for, it happened easily. Along the way, you're going to forget to take care of you. You are going to give in to food as a comfort and allow it to get you through every stressful test, that failed college roommate fiasco (let's not get into that one), and a coping mechanism for when you think people don't like you (more on that topic later). Stop! Self-care, I'm pretty sure was not a term thrown around back then, but it's important. Learn to love yourself. There are going to be a ton of people who like you just like that. But you can't show up for anyone else if you stop showing up for you.

Not everyone is going to like you. I can hear your soul crushing from here, but I promise, you survive this. You are loud, sometimes you don't listen, you swear (a lot), you make the most ludicrous of faces, and you use big words when you are angry. Like, look them up in the dictionary kinds of big words. When did you start that by the way? You are going to waste a lot of precious time trying to get people, who in the long run really don't matter, to like you. Even all these years later, I can't figure out why. Don't hide yourself or change to be something you are not. You will always shine through exactly as you are. Stop worrying about what people think, and I'm sorry to say this one takes time, something I am still working on today. The people who mean something to you will continue to show up. You have permission to forget about the rest.

Pay attention in English. I know you hate that class and find it "easy" and a "waste of time." What you don't know is that skill set is going to be needed in your future. Oh, and remember all those times you made your friend play "advertising?" Where you were in charge of creating billboard advertisements and your friend was always your assistant or secretary (friend of the year, I am really sorry about that)? That moment of "play" is a total foretelling as to your future. Pay attention and follow your heart. 

Take care of your body. I know you thought it was tough to dive for a ball in volleyball minus a knee pad. Or get behind the plate as catcher without proper protective gear. After all, it was just practice, right? All those mud sliding practices were all in good fun. Remember those times you threw your arm out because you could throw from the outfield to home. All those pains will catch up to you in the form of words like arthritis and knee replacement. Words you equated with being old and let me tell you, I am not old yet. I am, however, a big fan of my original parts and I'd like to keep them as long as possible. We only get one body, so take care of it.

I know you are in a hurry to date because dad says you can't go on one until you turn 16, but you aren't going to believe what I'm about to tell you. You are going to meet a boy; a boy you eventually marry. This boy isn't anything like the person you dreamed in your head would be your boyfriend and that's OK. He's kind, giving, and will like you just for you. Don't give in to keeping up with your other friends and fall into the trap of comparison. It truly does rob you of all the joy in the moment. You will set off on quite a roller coaster ride together, and neither of you really likes roller coasters. Even when you are petulant, distant, and going through some of the toughest times in your life, he will always be there. You'll attend the same college and hear your mother endlessly whisper about that scholarship you turned down to follow a boy. Don't worry, she eventually gets over it. You will get married and create one incredible life. 

Speaking of marriage, take the money dad offers and run away together. You thought you wanted the big wedding but let's be real, neither of you did. Go ahead and wear the fancy dress, but instead of getting lost in dancing, friend drama and details that get missed, just get lost in each other. I promise, it's SO much better. 

I can't give away all the details. Some paths remain left to be charted. I can tell you this, follow the one that makes you smile. After all, who could go wrong with happiness?

Sincerely, 

Mom-of-the-Year