Questions

We cannot banish dangers, but we can banish fears. 

We must not demean life by standing in awe of death. 

~David Sarnoff

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With children comes questions.  All kinds of questions.  Maddie sent a whopper and, on all days to ask, 9/11.  Hang with me here, I know my blogs have taken a serious turn but well, things have just been serious lately.  Humor will return soon. 

Cancer.  It's a word that really takes on a different meaning to everyone.  Yesterday, I had to explain what that is to Maddie when she asked about our neighbor across the street.  I hadn't told her she died almost a year ago.  I guess I was hoping she would simply forget.  A new family would move in and that would be that.  But, the house did not go up for sale and her bird feeders remain unkempt.  I just had to be honest with her.  After all, that is my philosophy.

"Cancer," I said, when Maddie asked how she died, as though it were a word we slung around often.  She had no idea just a few days earlier, I had relived my grandfather's own battle in my mind for the four days it took me to write a blog post about it.  She's smart though.  Oh goodness, she's smart!  I knew she'd ask and frankly, I knew I didn't know what I'd say. 

"What's cancer?" she asked.  Oh, how innocent.  How greatly, greatly innocent and unexposed to that horrible thing. 

Perhaps it is reading Donna's story on Mary Tyler Mom.  Maybe the crazy weather makes me nostalgic.  I really can't explain it, but cancer has been on my mind.  Every day I have thanked my lucky stars that while marred in my own way by it, I have not nor have my close loved ones fallen pry to it either.  I will continue being thankful every day. 

I have an orange wristband I wear.  Now, those who know me know I love only three things more than my family and that is handbags, shoes and jewelry.  The orange wristband doesn't often "go" with what I'm wearing for the day.  Never the less, I wear it.  On the band, it proudly displays the name of who I wear it for. 

I wear it because I remember.  I wear it for his sons, who will grow up without their dad.  I wear it for his wife, who became a widow at too young of an age.  I wear it because I continue walking this earth every day and I can.

September is marked with so much loss and likely is a hard month for many people.  Today, I look to the future with promise.  With hope for a cure.  With positive thoughts that my daughters remain unchanged by cancer.  With a smile on my face.  With hope.  Brilliant, unabandoned, perhaps naive hope.

And, my orange wristband because like 9/11, I will never forget.