Daytime Fun at the DOT

Have you ever noticed? 

Anybody going slower than you is an idiot,

and anyone going faster than you is a maniac. 

- George Carlin

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My license expired on my birthday this year.  I didn't notice it until I was about to go to Las Vegas and therefore, I waited until I got back to renew it.  The TSA in Iowa when I left didn't much care.  It did cause a certain amount of scrutiny when leaving Las Vegas as the TSA promptly informed me it was expired (nice consistency TSA).  In Las Vegas, a cranky pimple-faced punk promptly asked for a credit card.  Um, hello?  If I'm not who I say I am is it not possible that I also have a credit card with that name on it?   I failed to see how this proved I am who I say I am (nevermind the photo still looks like me). 

Anyway, I had the day off today so started it with a trip to the Driver's License Station in town to renew my license.  I had no idea what a good time that would be and at 8:30 in the morning. 

I arrived right as they opened and got in line behind a slightly angered gentleman who apparently received some sort of notice that he needed to prove he had insurance.  A lengthy discussion on his type, length and name of insurance agent ensued.  The woman at the counter cut him off, gave him his ticket with a number on it and told him to sit down.  I knew at that time, this was going to be fun!

My statement of need was much shorter.  I was promptly handed yet another ticket with another number, my license and a clipboard with a form to fill out while I waited.  As I waited for my turn, which seemed it might take a while as I was 404 and the person who was 400 took 10 minutes to complete their turn at the counter, I took much delight in my fellow DOT patrons. 

An older gentleman sat behind me with this granddaughter who had taken him to get his license renewed.  She appeared to be about college-aged and I found it sweet that she had accompanied him.  The form asks if you have an advance directive and neither of them knew what that meant.  He also happened to be particularly hard of hearing, so I think everyone in the room knew they were confused.  A lovely DOT employee summoned them to the counter to help them. 

That's when it dawned on me, there were 7 employees in that room and only one counter was open to help people.  I wondered if that seemed odd to anyone else. 

After my hard of hearing friend got up, some new patrons came and sat behind me.  I can now say with a large amount of certainty that helicopter parents are everywhere and not just on college campuses.  As the young woman filled out her form with what I assume were her parents, she got to the space where they ask eye color.  The conversation went a bit like this. 

"Eye color?  What color are my eyes?"

"They are blue," says the woman I assume is her mother. 

"I don't have blue eyes."  Um, I thought, if you don't know then why are you now arguing? 

"Yes they are blue," says mom with certainty.

"No they aren't, they are blue-ish green," says the daughter.  I chuckle wondering if they will print that on a license.  And again, why is she asking if she is now arguing?

The man I assume is dad gets up and checks out her eyes.  "Your eyes are purple," he says.  Huh?

The argument on eye color goes on for some time as I am biting my lip to keep from laughing.  I wasn't sure what color they finally settled on as I think I may have actually snorted in there somewhere trying to contain my laughter.  This was such a better story than the time I went to renew my license and the woman ahead of me, while looking in the eye tester, was all too forthcoming with her inability to see out of one eye.  It's OK, I was sure to leave before she did. 

The best part may have been that they actually prefer you don't smile now.  I was reminded to "keep my lips together" by the woman at the counter who took my fabulous picture.  Seriously?  And with that, I had my temporary license and an incredibly brief explanation to watch for my new one in the mail.  Plus, a really good story to blog about tonight.  It was such good material, I could have stayed all day! 

As I got into my car, I snapped this quick photo to accompany my story, only noticing when I downloaded it to be posted what I hope is not a foreshadowing in their sign - DRIVERS LICE.  While I got a good laugh from the DOT patrons today, I hope being there isn't part of another gift that keeps on giving.