Reason #333: My Mom Talks Crap

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You just crapped in my Cheerios.
- Rob Pontious
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Recently, someone asked why all my analogies have to do with poop.  I never really realized it until then, but she is right.  My theory is that because I have young children, and am still changing diapers so therefore, we readily talk about poop in our household.  That has led me to believe that everything I need to know about life, I can turn into a poop analogy.  So, take a seat on your own "throne" and enjoy!

1.  Worry about the poop in your own backyard.  I'm not sure where this one came from but I'm fairly sure it may have been my father.  Or perhaps I was scooping dog poop when this one came to mind.  Who really knows?!?!  The way I describe this one is that we all need to worry about the poop in our own backyard.  The minute you worry about the poop in your neighbor's yard, you don't realize how much your own is stinking.  Basically, this goes back to one we may know better and that is, mind your own business.  Or, as Madison was taught when she was two and a half, worry about yourself. 

2.  Sorry to crap in your cheerios.  This one came from my brother and since it is my most used, I felt the need to quote it.  Plus, it saved me from having to do the uncomfortable Google search on "quotes about poop."  Not sure I'd want to see those results.  I do use this one possibly bordering on the way too much category.  But basically it means, sorry I just ruined your day.  It could also be interpreted as, that was a bad idea.  Those who know me best might just say, "You're such a spirit crusher!"

3.  As easy as pooping diarrhea.  I can't explain this one other than I was once asked how easy something would be.  In my great attempt to show just how easy it would be, I turned to yet another poop analogy.  I don't know why my mind works the way it does!  This one also came briefly after our whole family battled the flu. 

4.  Don't crap where you eat.  (I've cleaned this one up a bit)  This did come from my father and he still uses it to this day.  I'm pretty sure it speaks for itself.  If you don't get it, I'm fairly sure you've done it. 

Perhaps my analogies do come from every day life.  It just speaks to me.  After all, who can merely be driving down the road and pass a truck like this with the business name of "A King's Throne"and take the time to snap a photo of it (about now you are all wondering how exactly I got my license renewed).   

I can hardly wait for the day my kids use one of these inappropriately at school.  That's when I officially become one of "those" parents.  After all, I did point out the blatant misspelling on the school menu of assterik.  Ahem, I think they meant asterisk. 

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