Every Good Mom Should Have One of These - That's Why I Don't

The tooth fairy teaches children that they can

sell body parts for money. 

~David Richerby

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A friend recently asked on Facebook what parents do when their children lose teeth?  Did they keep them?  Throw them?  I found it comical and quickly remembered the magazine ad I had just seen for a Tooth Fairy keepsake book.  I don't joke about these things folks!   It's in the photo above.

When Madison had her first loose tooth, instead of being that parent who was excited and saw this as a rite of passage, I spent my time trying to decide if I could pull it without passing out.  That's right, just the thought of a loose tooth makes me weak in the knees.  It's no secret that losing teeth is not my favorite part of parenthood.  I'd like to say it's primarily because I am a dental-phobic, but who really knows.  I've been known to post Facebook statuses, even Tweet about the fact that my child is about to lose a tooth.  It's truly a monumental event, and not because I am thrilled. 

Then, a few amazing things happened.  Because I've made the decision to be a working mom, I had the pleasure of taking Madison to a daycare where they were more than happy to pull teeth.  This is likely the top reason I did not pursue a career in education - can't pull teeth!  She has lost quite a few there.  The other, is her pediatric dentist.  At a regular checkup, she had an extremely loose tooth and when I asked the dentist about it, she told me to just let it fall out.  At first I was sure she was joking.  After all, what reasonable dentist supports such a thing?  Well, apparently mine does!  In her oh so gentle dentist's voice she says to me, "It causes too much turmoil to pull it, so she'll just wiggle that little bugger right outta there in a jiffy."  Where was this woman when I was growing up?  Guess what mom, she also told me teeth do not grow in crooked if a loose tooth is not pulled when it is ready.  (Insert sinister laugh)  I knew this day would come!

Madison has a nice, ceramic tooth fairy figurine with a little covered space to put her tooth that she received as a gift from my mother.  I can barely reach my finger into that little space and feel her lost tooth against my flesh to pull it out and throw it away and replace it with money.  Man, I'm seriously nauseated just thinking about it.  Plus, for days knowing that tooth is in my bathroom trash can makes me avoid throwing things away.  It should be no surprise that I responded to my friend's Facebook post that I don't keep the teeth. 

So, why in the world would I purchase this lovely fake-looking book that boasts, "Personalize the book with your child's own baby teeth?"  Gag!   Every time I look at it, I find it strange and morbid.  Obviously, not a purchase I will be making any time soon.  Although I did learn today, many parents keep their children's lost teeth.  Perhaps I am depriving my children of learning about their past.  But really, what story would their teeth tell?  Other than their mommy could handle the poopiest of poopy diapers, being thrown up on, even being peed on!  Oh yeah, and about all the candy I fed them.  Yet, their own lost teeth make me turn into a blubbering idiot. 

Just another reason I'm proudly in the running for mom of the year!